tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637299678197896762.post1608132437553173717..comments2023-09-24T09:08:50.636-07:00Comments on Finding What I Am Looking For: Perplexedpippasmumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07386184818117314750noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637299678197896762.post-58574152861441288182010-06-06T21:02:20.095-07:002010-06-06T21:02:20.095-07:00Oh boy. It's hard to know what to do when no ...Oh boy. It's hard to know what to do when no matter what you do it will be considered the wrong thing. We've had that issue with a family member as well. In the end, we cut off communications with them (they live provinces away anyway, and the only time they communicate with us is to put us down somehow, so we just won't bother).<br /><br />And I agree. I think I'd feel a bit slapped myself.Sabhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06366504500666420418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637299678197896762.post-34782843330961133012010-06-06T08:51:40.997-07:002010-06-06T08:51:40.997-07:00I hear you....family can say and do some of the mo...I hear you....family can say and do some of the most hurtful things. And the hurt is magnified because they are family and, by nature, they are supposed to care more than friends.<br /><br />Give it to God...breathe deeply and know that the ones who love and support you most will be there. It's so easy to waste our energy worry about the ones who let us down, but the reality is...they don't deserve even our wasted energy. We become drained and can't focus on the ones who do support and love us. <br /><br />Praying for you...Jill Foleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15919221814694982320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637299678197896762.post-7658970865533733662010-06-06T07:56:29.118-07:002010-06-06T07:56:29.118-07:00I would bet her remove is about her not getting he...I would bet her remove is about her not getting her way and pouting about it in terms of how the family is working and you not talking with sil right now. (understandably, I might add.)<br /><br />The other? Honestly, I think she has issues with males. Her husband is acceptable to her by virtue of letting her walk all over him - he is sweet and non-confrontational, and used to her ways but never seems to call her on it or doesn't see it. She rejects her own son often and strongly favours her daughter. Her first and only grandson is getting the same already. It seems like a pattern, and may well go all the way back to the way her dad treated their family, which was no treat. All of which would suggest to me that she's responding to old hurt and rejection by hurting and rejecting.<br /><br />That may all sound a little pop-psych ow whatever, but honestly it's the first thing I hear in the ongoing pattern of her behaviour, and I'm not generally one to be all about people's behaviour and destiny being determined by their childhood.<br /><br />That doesn't make it any easier to bear, of course. I would let her carry on about the nieces a bit and do her doting, because it really costs nothing to let her have her moment and you never know, she may carry on about Pk to sil and drive her nuts! It would be just like her to play you guys off against each other. Call her on anything negative she says about your kids, though.<br /><br />I would also say that kids don't notice this stuff nearly as starkly unless it's blatantly unfair, and you can insulate her from some of it. I didn't notice until my Oma made some comment when I was in my 30s that she didn't think of me as her grandchild.<br /><br />Yes, you can't win, but here'[s one win - you won't have her driving you nuts in the first few days of your babe's life if he comes soon, at least! Take heart and know you are loved elsewhere and probably even by her, in her own perverse and limited way.kittenpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05215443551546036909noreply@blogger.com