Simple Pleasures

One of the things that first drew me to Dh, those many (many, many, many) years ago was his ability to be who he was.  He had learned that he didn't need to please anyone else and that he wasn't going to change his interests or his clothing to suit someone else's opinion.  He isn't insensitive - he cares very much when he thinks that he might have hurt someone, but he has always been his own person and he doesn't apologize for that.  For me, who has always been so much of a people pleaser that I compromise myself far to often to fit in, it is a characteristic that I have admired very much.

I'm really excited that, at least at this stage, Pk seems to be following in his footsteps.  We see it in little things.  She loves passionately and when she loves something, it becomes almost an obsession.  I think she has seen every episode of Word World 200 times (hence why her reading is coming on so nicely), it's been Veggietale everything since she was about 18 months and Rudolph is the current fixation.  We are seeing signs of a move to "The Lion King", about which we have mixed feelings - ANYTHING other than Rudolph would be a nice relief but if you have been around here very long, you know how we feel about Disney.

I heard a nice little story today that confirmed it for me.  Back in November, when people started asking Pk what she wanted from Santa, she always came up with the same answer - a chocolate egg and some Rudolph toys.  The Rudolph toys were fairly easy to find as there seems to be a huge resurgence but the chocolate egg was a bit more of a challenge.  I wanted to find something special but, after an extensive search of local chocolate sources, the best I could do was a large kindersurprise egg.  Christmas morning, she got up to open her egg and was thrilled.  Given the sheer amount of Christmas junk that has come into this house, we hadn't opened it until today.  It was a big event.

The best part was the call I got this evening.  My friend had been volunteering in Pk's class and she called beacuse there was a story she thought I would want to hear.  I gather that before Christmas, Pk's teacher had her write a sentence about what she wanted for Christmas.  Obviously, she said a chocolate egg.  Today, her teacher had them use the sentence starter "I got a ..."  My friend said that Pk eagerly sat down to write and when the teacher when over to check on her, she very loudly announced, "I got a chocolate egg," with great pride.  

I love that she is pleased by the small things and, frankly, it's also nice that the things she wants are cheap, LOL.  I just hope that she keeps that strong sense of what gives her pleasure and her lack of apology for it.  I could learn a lot from her.

Joy Dare

I just wrote and then accidently deleted a wonderful post about a great post that my bloggy-friend and brilliant Christian inspiration Jill wrote.  You need to go and read it and then go to the blog that she is talking about.  Like Jill, I have not entirely joined the cult of 1000 Gifts but certainly, the practice of cultivating gratitude has made a huge difference for me, especially at a crazy time like the return to work after our winter break.
Go visit Jill and read this post.  She's worth it, I promise!

Just Wonderin'

Am I in the minority of women my age (pushing the later end of the 30s, if I am being honest), who, at times, still gets flashes of the insecurities of high school?  I work with several women, all nice enough (to your face... oops, did I just say that), who like to function as the kind of "in" crowd at work (I work at a very large school).  I'm too busy for crowds myself, I have friends at work but I'm too busy to go out for lunch - I go to work, I work all day, including through breaks, and leave as soon as the work is done because I'd rather be with my family.

So, we were invited to the 2nd b-day party of the son of one of these women.  He went to daycare with LB until recently.  Even though we probably make as much money as these people and they live in the heart of suburbia (sorry, I'd much rather be in either the city or a small town, I don't really like housing development after housing development), there is just something about these people that makes me doubt myself in so many ways.  I am usually fairly comfortable with what I have and one of the reasons we moved to the small town was to get away from the pressure to keep up.  I want to have a comfy home and I don't pretend that we have a lot of money and I know that we are not fashionable in any sense of the word.  Most of the time, I don't care.  Today, though, I felt really out of place and came home and the house just looked that little bit shabbier and the kids looked that little bit scruffier and I was filled with doubt about everything.

I'll get over it and, as the therapist I saw for a while two years ago told me, I need to stop buying the image that everyone wants to put forward and start seeing through to the person underneath, warts and all, but, yet again, I hit that feeling like I had when I was 15.  It's not so nice.

New Year's Eve (and the end of the December Daily)

December 30th

On the 30th, we spent a lot of time having fun as a family.  I had just finished this hat (the "shroom" made from Spud and Chloe) and I was really excited to get out and have Pk wear it.  I don't often like bulky knits, especially ones that are kind of "funky" (which leaves me in a small minority in knitting these days - most people seem to really like odd-looking stuff) but I loved the way this hat turned out and while the photos don't do it justice, Pk looked adorable.  Dh wanted to go out and shovel as much as he could given that the forecast was for a warm-up (which to Dh immediately leads to concerns about a flooded basement) and then a freeze over (being sued for someone falling on our property).  

We bundled up and went outside.  The plan was that Dh would shovel and snow blow (that was one of our best-ever investments!) and the kids and I would make a snowman.  The snowman didn't work - while the snow was wet, I just couldn't get it to pack properly.  I seem to be hopeless at making snowmen and the snow never seems to be right.  I'm hoping it's the snow, not me!

We had fun making snow angels, throwing snow and watching LB look like the little brother in "A Christmas Story" - his mobility was seriously limited and he and I fought a lot about his mitts.  They are  wonderfully warm but rather bulky (I bought the size up since they were expensive enough that I didn't want to have to buy another pair next year - perhaps a mistake).

We had a lovely nap together (nothing like fresh air) and as a special treat, we went into town for dinner at "the" Chinese buffet restaurant.  The food was o.k. but we don't have to wait for service, which, for Little Bean, is huge.  They also have fountains and fish tanks, another thing that can stretch our meal past 20 minutes.  The best part - Dh took me to Wild Birds Unlimited to buy a squirrel-proof feeder, which I have wanted for ages.  I LOVE birds in winter but to date, we tend to only really attract squirrels.

If only I didn't have to pay bills, I could really get used to these days together as a family!

December 29th

Excuse the quality of the photos.  We decided that, with some snow, we wanted to take the kids sledding but since it gets dark so early, the photos aren't great.  It was fun, though.  The view down the hill in the schoolyard was gorgeous.  I tend to hibernate in winter but this year, I want us to get out and have lots of fun!

December 28th

The 28th was our first day without anything to do.  Well, that's not entirely true - the 27th we decided that the kids were in desperate need of a decompression day and we took a day just to rest and keep things quiet.  On the 28th, we felt like we were ready to start doing a few things again.

It really didn't end up being an especially exciting day.  For the most part, we stayed close to home.  We did venture out to give the dogs a run in the forest.  LB got to wear his new hat (when I asked Pk what she wanted to give him for Christmas, she insisted that he wanted a lion hat and I found this cute on on Etsy).  It wasn't an especially cold day, which made it perfect for a walk.

I love the fact that LB still fits in the Ergo (the best investment I ever made!)  He loves being on my back and usually, as you can see, either sleeps or goes into a super-relaxed state.  It amazes me that the weight on my back doesn't bother me at all.

 Dh and I were so excited!  About five years ago, on a walk through this forest, we stumbled across this tree that someone had decorated.  It seemed really magical, hidden away at the intersection of three  paths in the heart of the forest.  We checked back following years and nobody had repeated the decorating.  We talked about decorating it ourselves but just never got around to it.  This year, we discovered that someone had decorated it again!  I wish I still had the photo from five years ago - the tree has done a lot of growing but it's still charming!

 It the evening, the snow started.  It looks lovely and made being inside so comfy.  I love looking at the trees coated in snow, especially when I don't have to drive in it.  Everything was especially pretty with the Christmas lights - I don't know why people take them down so soon after Christmas.  I wish we kept them up into February to lighten the January darkness.  Dh and I have decided that we are going to leave our snowflake lights up.