Little Joys

The last few days have been hard for me.  I think I have a case of the blues that may be pushing its way into some full-on depression but I'm hoping that a few sunny days will help this to pass.  I have had a lot of little stresses in the last few days and sometimes, I deal with it really well but other times, not so much.  It's been a bit of a struggle to keep things going.  That being said, even in the midst of the crap, there have been some wonderful little joys.

The best today?  After church, I ran to the skating arena.  Several of my students were skating in a production but on by the local skating club and I promised I would go to watch.  Pk was thrilled because she loves all things Disney and there was a Disney theme to the show.  We got there to a huge crowd and it was totally overwhelming and out of the blue, I see this familiar face - a dear friend from work who is off on a leave.  Our daughters had a blast with the skating and we just talked and talked, decompressing the stresses we are both facing right now.  I can't tell you how much I needed that.  I really am so lucky to be surrounded by the wonderful people I have in my life.

Teachings our Sons

Over the last few weeks, the Canadian media has been full of stories of the very tragic story of Rehteah Parsons and I have been hit with this overwhelming sadness.  Of course, I feel horrible for this family and for the loss of a precious life.  I also feel so sad, however, that we have lost our way so badly in the way that we are raising our children.  How could not one but an entire group of boys so degrade a classmate and commit rape and even worse, film it and publicly share the footage of this horrible event?  I even heard interviews with other students from the school saying that "the boys are having a hard time," heavy with the implication that the boys might be misunderstood or that this was just an adolescent mistake.  It makes me feel so sick that we could be raising children so lacking in empathy and so able to disconnect when they watch the horrid and the cruel.  I can't even being to contemplate that this poor girl was subjected to bullying afterwards AND that the authorities did not act to protect her.  It speaks to me about the fact that we NEED to raise our children in a different way - our girls need to learn to value themselves, to protect themselves and not to put themselves in harm's way (which is in NO way a blaming of this girl, nothing justifies this but I would hope that I could teach my daughter that being in a large group of drunks without any sober supervision is an unnecessary risk).  Especially, though, we need to learn to parent our boys differently - to teach them compassion, empathy, courage to stand against what is wrong and wisdom.

I just thought I would share a link to this post of Ann Voskamp's, which actually helped me to feel like there is hope for raising our sons differently.

Little Joys

All day Wednesday, the weather forecast was predicting impending doom and Thursday, schools buses were cancelled and there was much hype.  As so often happens, the storm did not live up to its billing.  We had a bit of wet snow and that was it.

Friday morning was another story.  We woke up to an icy world - the trees were covered (and I was not able to get a lovely photo of it) and my dogs skated across the deck.  There were two joys - one the beauty of the morning and the other, making it to work in one piece, despite the fact that nothing was cancelled (probably out of embarrassment for the the day before).  So many people are so discouraged by the fact that spring isn't here yet but not me - I suppose I am lucky in that I don't mind the cold as long as the days are lighter and longer and we are definitely getting that.

I didn't get any photos but another joy is that my mother is here.  She took us out for a lovely dinner last night and she treated each child to something from the store.  I feel so lucky that my children have this time with their grandparents.  I only got to know two of mine and even then, they had both passed on by the time I was 12 and my children have a much better chance of plenty of time with their grandparents.  What a gift!

Stressed Less and Blessed!

I love online studies since life is so busy and I can't seem to make it to one of the studies at our church.  A friend suggested that I join the "Greater" study that happened back in January hosted over at Proverbs 31 ministries and I decided to give that one a try.  I liked it and Stressed-Less Living is going to be my third in this series.  It couldn't apply to me more.

I decided to jump ahead and read chapter one on Sunday night.  What a great move.  I read the chapter and really was hit with the message that I need to stop spending so much time worrying so much and being stressed by things that are beyond my control (a specialty of mine).  I came to work Monday morning (for anyone who haven't been around here much, I'm an elementary teacher and the primary lead teacher, which means lots of meetings and since it's a large school, it's a bit like trying to herd cats.  Given the current labour-situation in schools here in Ontario, you might be starting to understand why I am stressed).  My intentions were so good and yet, by lunchtime, I felt sick to my stomach from all the tension and I could feel the muscles in my neck and shoulders tightening up from my clenching, trying to keep up with all that I felt that I had to do.   Since then, I have worried about the freezing rain and driving, my son's not sleeping, our finances, a situation with a friend and at church, my dog... the list goes on and on.  I know that I am taking years off my life with this worry and it makes me unhappy.  I don't want to live like this and something needs to change.

It's funny, there are people who say that we should just "stop worrying."  It will all be fine.  If we have enough faith, life will get easier.  Then, there are the people who imply that I am worrying about nothing.  While I may worry too much, it is not nothing.  I am not someone who blows things out of proportion (unless it's a health thing, and then I freely admit, I'm a nutcase).  I have an insanely busy life - two young children, pets, an intense job, acting as children's worship coordinator at our church, trying to be a good wife and friend, commuting (although not as far as I did), trying to include acts of service in my life... it goes on and on.  I wouldn't change it in terms of the fact that the things that I have the option to drop are often the things that give me the most pleasure and I don't want to sacrifice that.  Reading this chapter really helped me to see that I need to 1.  really focus on what I can control and 2.  put faith in God that He is good and that He can handle the rest.  It sounds so simple for the reality is so hard (at least for me).  I want to ENJOY my life and not take years off myself with worry and the physical symptoms of a life of stress.

Luckily for me, I read Ann Voskamp's 1000 Gifts a couple of years ago and I have strongly embraced the "blessed" approach to life.  I am trying to look for all of the little blessings that come my way every day and I do find that helps me A LOT.  I'm looking forward to seeing how this book takes me that next step and helps me to manage my stress and to clearly see and be able to enjoy all of my daily blessings!  I'm looking forward to reading the thoughts of everyone else!

Little Joys

Through the winter, Pk took the Pre-Canskate programme and loved it.  She adored it so much that when we got the application for the spring session, we decided to keep going.  Pk was so excited, that is, until we got there tonight and were on a different ice pad and she didn't see her favourite teacher.  I could see that she was becoming rather scared.

Then, we heard her name being called.  It was her favourite friend from the last session.  They ran to hug and just talked and talked.  Once they got on the ice, they stuck together the entire time, several times getting separated from the rest of the group, since they were more focused on each other than on the instructor.

It really makes me happy when I see Pk getting such pleasure from friends.  It makes me think of all of the joy I have gotten from the special people in my life and I love the fact that, at least up until now, she seems to have an ease with people and a capacity for friendship that could really enrich her life.  I hear so many stories of "mean girl" situations - it's so nice to see the wonderful side of girls together.

And Lb?  He took a hockey stick with him in the car and found at puck when we arrived.  Life was good for him, too!

Little Joys

Today, we had a mystery reader in my class.  I love this programme!  Several times each year, I send a letter home inviting family members to come in a read a favourite book to the class.  I don't tell the students who is coming and usually, the family member doesn't tell them, either, so it's a complete surprise.  The kids adore it.  I have to say, it's a treat for me, too.  It often lets me see the children in a new way, through the eyes of a family member.  I always allow the person to bring in a favourite book to read and I love seeing what different people choose.  My students are very lucky and have some wonderful people who care about them so much.  I also have to admit, it must go back to childhood but I LOVE having a book read to me, too, and sitting and listening to a grandma read, takes me right back to being five and cuddled in someone's lap and feeling so relaxed and safe.  It's a truly lovely feeling.

Little Joys

No pictures today.  It was a crazy day at work with lots of unexpected demands (that put my stress level through the ceiling - so much for my intention to follow the idea in the first chapter of Stressed-Less Living by Tracie Miles from the Proverbs 31 study - not the book's problem, it's mine!) and by the end of the day, I was feeling very, very tense.  My joys?  Coming home.  A quiet rain that made the house feel cozy.  Dh picking up naan and muttar paneer to go with the butter chicken we were having for dinner.
Sometimes, it's just nice to be home and to slow down the pace.