Bring Me Home Rejoicing

So, today is my birthday.  Some people love birthdays, some people hate them.  Me, I'm a bit mixed about them.  I don't have any issues with getting older (it certainly beats the alternative!) but I often find birthdays a bit of a letdown.  They are supposed to be such a big deal and everyone is supposed to know and make such a big deal about it.  For an introvert like me, it can be a problem - I get a bit hurt when not much is made of it (my dh is a wonderful man but birthdays and Mother's Day are not his strong suits).

I woke up this morning feeling just the tiniest bit blue - it's a Tuesday, Dh is out at a meeting this evening, I have to work and can't even get out to lunch because my workload is so heavy at the moment, it's piano lesson day and there isn't even time for anything special for dinner.  Really, it's a non-event kind of day.  I set out with the dog for our morning walk feeling just the littlest bit unappreciated and then, God managed to get my attention BIG TIME.

Each morning, on our walk, Chelsea (my older and more sensible dog) keep an eye out for the various forms of wildlife that inhabit the natural areas of our small town.  This spring, a particular favourite of ours has become "my" fox - I'm sure she's a she and she often runs out in front of me on our path.  I've seen her peering over a mound of dirt, running out in front and one day, she even stopped to bark.  Needless to say, whenever I see her, I haven't got the camera.

This morning, as I walked, I dreamed that, as the best birthday present, I would get a chance to see her and get a photo.  We entered the area where she usually is but there was no sign of her.  I was feeling very disappointed when I just happened to glance up to my right.  I just about jumped for joy - there was no Mama Fox but there were two, obviously very curious kits, peering back at me.  Not only were they there, they stayed for several pictures.  It actually brought tears to my eyes.  

It reminded me of one of my favourite lines from one of the morning prayers from "Common Prayer:  A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals", a book that I adore:

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you: wherever he may send you;

may he guide you through the wilderness: protect you through the storm;

may he bring  you home rejoicing: at the wonders he has shown you;

may he bring you home rejoicing: once again into our doors.

Needless to say, I did some rejoicing this morning at the wonders!

In the Midnight Hour

Pk gets terrible growing pains, especially when she has gotten overtired.  I used to have the same thing. When it happens, we are awakened to her crying and I get the hot pack for her, give her some Advil and rub her legs until the pain goes away and she goes back to sleep.  It probably happens once or twice a week.

Last night, we had another incident of it and she was in a lot of pain.  As I rubbed her legs and waiting for the pain to stop, I asked her to tell me about something that would make her very happy.  I expected something about going to a theme park or visiting grandma's house.  She really surprised and touched me with what she said.  She told me that what would make her happy more than anything would be for she and I to have a picnic, just the two of us.  She would want us to eat things from our garden and read books together.  Then, she talked about how much she loves eating parsley from the garden and that she wants me to try it, too, since it's SO good.

It's funny the way that my children can so often surprise me.  I try to do these amazing things for them to show them my love and all they want is something simple, usually that involves time together.  You can bet I will be buying more parsley to put in the garden and I'm going to put a once-a-week picnic on our summer bucket list!

#Blessed

Yet again, here I am to participate in the blog hop over at the Melissa Taylor Bible Study, Stressed-Less Living.   If you are visiting from there, thanks for stopping by!

Despite the fact that Philippians 4:8 is a verse that I love (in fact, a verse that I chose as part of Pk's life verse), I don't feel as if I have anything intelligent to say about it today and I'd rather not dwell on the Goliath's I face at the moment, so I am going to just revel in some blessings in my life right now.

1.  Kind friends - As I've said here over and over again, I'm a weird introvert who needs friends.  I don't want to be with people all the time and I find making small talk really hard but I honestly value the dear people who brighten my days with their smiles, their understanding and acceptance of who I am.  I have several friends who feel like family and especially during the hard times, they are a big part of what carries me through.

2.  The miracle of a garden - each year, we plant and each year, I marvel when the plants actually grow.  My flowers are progressing nicely and more excitingly, at the moment, the heavy rain we have had is just what my newly planted seeds need.  Here's hoping we will have all kinds of salad greens ready before we know it.

3.  Books, books and books - when I was a child, my parents never had the money to order from Scholastic and when the flyers came home, I used to dream about what to buy.  Whatever else I say no to, I always find the money for a few books for the kids and yesterday, a new shipment arrived via Pk's teacher.  They are more than just something to read for me - they represent warm and sleepy times in bed with Pk as we read in the evening, adventures and leaping off into new interests (right now, with Pk it's anything about horses and with Lb, it's anything Hot Wheels or Mighty Machines).  It's a shared language for our family and I think my best memory of yesterday was seeing Lb lay down on the floor beside Dh with a book in his hand and they read there together, book after book.

4.  A new start every morning - some people may think that I am insane but I love the morning more than any other time of day. I get up early and take the dogs for a walk and it's my time to think, to plan, to dream and to pray.  My favourite spot for prayer is the little bridge with the sound of the water rushing below.  My best ideas come at that time and it's when I can shake off the stresses that have come before and start fresh.  These days, now that it is light so early and I can smell the apple blossoms and lilacs as we walk and admire the forget-me-nots that are everywhere and be overwhelmed by the lushness after the starkness of winter and early spring, it feels like a treat every morning.

I could go on forever but I won't bore you with it now.  What are you grateful for today?

Amazing Animals

This past weekend was the holiday weekend here and it ended up being exactly what we needed - a time with good friends and a time to enjoy some of the things that we don't normally have the time for that we love.  The weekend was wonderful, even for a holiday weekend!

The kids and I started by going to our local garden centre to pick up a few things that we needed to fill in a few holes.  I'm a dreamer when it comes to the garden.  It rarely lives up to my expectations but there is nothing more fun than buying plants and imagining creating a lovely space.  It's not always so dreamy when one buys plants with Lb (there was a display of ceramic birdhouses that I was afraid was not going to last through our visit) but we did manage to have some fun and the kids loved getting in to help!



From there, we ran up to my friends' farm to train the dogs.  Since we have the kids, we haven't done much in the way of bird work with them - we aren't hunters and so it's not something urgent.  We decided, though, that a bit of pigeon fun would be right up their alley and it was (and, for the record, they are homing pigeons so they were pointed and then flew back to the barn to fly another day).

The old girl may be 12 be she still knows how to find those birds!

Even our resident bonehead managed to do a good job!

The final part of the day's outings was by far the favourite.  A friend who has a horse has been inviting Pk for a while to see some things at her barn and our schedules have just never cooperated.  Well, finally, we managed to get there and our visit included meeting a week-old foal, a miniature pony who we got to feed and helping to bring our friend's horse in from the field.  Needless to say, Pk was in orbit, she was so excited.

If only every weekend could be a holiday weekend!

Garden Dreams

Cardinal

Cardinal Photo by By ibm4381 (via Creative Commons)

Sometimes, it is amazing to me the way that God can be present in my daily life in the smallest but most significant of ways.  It doesn't always happen but sometimes it does and I wanted to share this little story.

Almost four years ago, Dh and I were trying for another child and it just wasn't happening.  Pk had been right away and it had never occurred to us that this wouldn't be so easy the second time.  We were both in our mid 30's and I was really starting to worry that we had left things too long.  I can't tell you the pain in wondering whether you might not be able to have a child.  It was so overwhelming.  I was so discouraged and it was tainting most of my life.

One day, I took my class on a field trip.  There was this boy in my class who happened to have the nicest mom.  She was a kindred spirit - from the first time we talked, I really liked her and felt very comfortable with her.  On the bus on the way back from the field trip, she asked about whether we were going to have another child.  Sometimes, a question like that feels very intrusive but with her, there was something about the way that she asked that didn't offend me the way that it usually does.  I answered something to the effect that we were trying and it wasn't happening and it was pretty frustrating.  She was so kind to me.  They had gone through exactly the same thing and she had found out she was pregnant with her second child and the ultrasound ordered by the fertility specialist they were going to see.  She didn't make me any false promises that anything was certain but we did make me feel listened to and, more importantly, that I wasn't alone.  I really treasured that conversation.

Her son moved on a while we always had a hug and a smile when we did encounter each other, we really moved out of each other's lives.  Then, this year, she started working as a lunch supervisor at our school.  We chat fairly regularly and give each other a smile.  My class had done some cardinal paintings that really brighten our hallway and one day, she stopped by to tell me how much she loved them.  Cardinals are my favourite birds and it turns out that they are hers, as well.  She told me that she had heard a story about an old man who was at the end of his rope.  He prayed to God for a sign, any sign, of God's presence because he just didn't think he had it in him to go on.  That day, everywhere he went, he saw cardinals and in the most unexpected places.  The old man decided that the birds were God's way to telling him that all would be o.k.

During my evening prayers a few days later, it just popped into my head that I wanted to get her something with a cardinal on it as a thank you for the chat a few  years before.  It's funny how that happens - when I pray in the evening for people in my life, so often people's names come to me that I should write to, send a card or an email to or to try to make plans with.  Anyway, a few days later, I played around a bit on etsy (I love buying hand made!) and I found a lovely pendant.  It wasn't anything expensive, just a little hand-painted tile with a cardinal on it.  It took a while to get it and finally, one day, I put it in a card and left it in the office for her.  Then, I forgot about it.

About three days later, she came to me at lunch and began to cry.  She wanted to tell me that she was SURE that God had used me to show her a cardinal.  He son, who is brilliant and well-rounded and "gifted" (according to the tests) has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and in her words, her "mama's heard was aching with not being able to make things better for him."  She was really struggling and overwhelmed and then, out of nowhere, this totally unexpected cardinal.

I've been feeling a bit awestruck ever since.  It's amazing to feel like I was able to make such a difference in someone's day.

John Benson 

Little Joys

I know that I have been talking here about having a hard time with depression lately but it isn't all the time and today was one of those days that was just filled with little joys.  It's a long weekend here, which immediately makes it better and then, on top of that, I got to have a marvelous day with my family.

Our plan had been, and it worked, to go to the Farmer's Market in the morning, early.  Both kids love Crocs and I refuse to pay full price.  There's a place at the market that has them cheaply and when we go, the kids get to see all the animals.  We knew that we had to be back since Dh was meeting some children on his soccer team for their jerseys so we didn't linger.  We took Chelsea along, since we knew she would have a wonderful time.

 Another wonderful part of the day was going to pick up our CSA share.  I LOVE doing this.  We get veggies and eggs bi-weekly (weekly in the summer), 3 lbs of pork once monthly and 8 lbs of beef, again, once monthly.  When the summer starts, we'll also get a chicken a month and a hot house share a week.  I love talking to the people who grow my food, knowing that what I pay is going directly to the farmer and not to a string of distributers and I love that my kids get to play where there food is grown.  It's been fun, for me who loves to research, to learn how to use some of the cuts we aren't familiar with and to incorporate new veggies into our diet.  Today was extra special since we met up with good friends who also were picking up their share and the kids played on the combine slide, swings and we had a good look at the animals.

The rest of the day was just spent as a family and I couldn't have enjoyed it more.  We have a major garden project we have undertaken (photos to come in another post) and so we spent much of the day buying plants, working outside and admiring our work.  We have some mosquito bites to show for it and I definitely got more sun than I should have but we are all going to bed feeling a bit more ownership of home and that we got to spend a wonderful day together.