Life Updates

I am so sorry for the long absence.  I have to admit, I was pretty shocked when I looked at the date of my last post.  Life has been really busy and the only little bit of time I have had has been at work and unfortunately, blogging sites are considered to be "social networking" and are blocked.  Ugh.

Anyway, life has been crazy busy.  To begin, I am still pregnant and exhausted.   While the nausea does seem to be getting a tiny bit better, it has changed in an odd way - while I am not feeling like I am going to get sick all the time, I DO get sick suddenly and that hadn't happened much until a couple of weeks ago.  Here's hoping THAT goes quickly.  I am also incredibly tired all the time and when I put Pk to be, I go, too.  That eats up a lot of my computer time.

One fun thing that has been keeping me busy was that I took a knitting class.  It was just two sessions but both were a Tuesday evening.  I can't remember the last time that I did something on my own in the evening that wasn't work related (well, o.k., you are right, I went to that Partylite party a couple of weeks ago...).  Anyway, it was great.  I do fairly complicated stuff when I knit but I have never tried fair isle, at least, I should say, not successfully.  As you can see from the pic below, not perfect but not bad for a first attempt.  I also have really fallen in love with the little yarn shop that offers the classes - I think I will have to take another.

 Last week was report cards and parent interviews. Frankly, it is not my favourite time as a teacher.  Much as we try to be as accurate as we can in representing the students, you never know which parents are going to be unhappy.  This year wasn't bad but I did have one mother whose daughter got all A's but one A- get in my face about making her work harder.  There are times when I just want to scream, "It's only Grade 2 you know!"  I bit my tongue and thankfully, our wonderful school caretaker felt sorry for me and came in and ordered the parents out at 8 p.m. when I had stragglers who didn't seem to want to leave.

I also had a great chat with one of our ministers this week.  The way things have gone with Dh's family has really weighed heavily on me lately.  Someone lent me a book on Borderline personality disorder and I know understand my s.i.l's behaviour and why it has impacted us the way that it has.  Without saying too much, last year, I finally told her that I couldn't have contact with her anymore unless she demonstrated a willingness to treat us with respect and to model politeness in front of Pk.  This was after years (17, to be exact) of her being volatile, at times nasty and generally very, very critical.  I am a wimp, really, and will do almost anything to avoid conflict.  It wasn't until I could see that it was destroying dh and it was starting to show signs of flickering into Pk's direction that I finally took a stand.  It hasn't been easy and dh's parents are not understanding that we need to set some boundaries with his sister.  It has been awful.  The worst part for me has been the guilt.  Even though I know that we have tried and tried and tried, I still have moments when I feel like I am being unforgiving and uncompassionate towards her.  It really weighs heavily on me.  Friends and my family have all told me that I had done the right thing but I go to church and hear about turning the other cheek and I get sucked into guilt.  I finally decided to sit down with A, to get another perspective.  What a relief.  As I shared our story, she just kept nodding and muttering, "Manipulation again."  We had a long talk about the fact that there is a difference between forgiveness and being a doormat and that there is nothing unChristian about saying that while I want to have a relationship and am open to one, it will only happen if she is willing to change how she treats us.  I know it sounds silly and that really, another person can't grant me permission or absolution but I have to say, it really made me feel better.

Other than that, our big news is baby.  As I said earlier, I have been feeling very yucky and lots of women have told me that's a boy thing.  I tend to take these things with a grain of salt.  We had our 12 week ultrasound this morning and it would seem that at this point, anyway, it looks like a boy.  We are very excited.  Frankly, we would be excited either way - a boy lets us enjoy life on both sides of parenting and having another girl would make things financially a lot easier (we have lots of great clothing for a girl!).  It was just such a relief to see that heart beating strongly and that little body moving around.  I am a bit of a worrier (as if you didn't already know that!) and this stage of pregnancy, while a blessing, is a pretty scary time.  I will be relieved to make it to the 20 week mark.

So, there you are.  Life is busy and I am hanging in to get to the holidays.  Maybe with the report cards, I will be able to write more often.  Hope all is well for everyone else!