Millionaire's Family

What's with that? I have people say to me regularly how lucky we are to have the "millionaire's family". People assume that having a boy and a girl is every parents' dream. I love both my children, don't get me wrong, and I know people think they are being nice but the comments about the gender of my children make me a bit grouchy. Would I have been less lucky if I had another girl instead of my little Baby Bean? Would I have loved her any less? It's even worse in the family because my s.i.l. has two girls and so everyone at my in-laws' church commented on how wonderful it is that they finally have a grandson. I have to say that my parents-in-law are being really great about this. I know that deep down, they are thrilled to finally have a grandson, especially since he is their son's son and the family name will carry on but they are not playing favourites - Pk still gets spoiled rotten even though she is the third granddaughter (although my introverts f.i.l. struggles not to be driven insane by her constant chatter - I guess my other nieces weren't quite as vocal). I do worry a bit because my m.i.l. raves about Baby Bean to everyone who will listen and especially to my s.i.l., it might feel like he is getting special treatment. I wouldn't want anyone, s.i.l. or my nieces, to feel lesser for being girls.

It is nice to get to experience both genders but in my case, the one thing that is making me hesitate about definitively saying that we won't have any more children is that I would love another girl (I ADORE my little boy but I would rather have a second girl than a second boy - a good reason not to have a third in case I didn't get my wish). I never had a sister and always dreamed of having that built-in friend and would love that for Pk.

While I am venting, the other thing that drives me crazy are the questions about whether Baby Bean is a "good" baby. Again, I understand that people are asking in kindness, wanting my life not to be too complicated. On the other hand, there is a value judgement about a "good" or a "bad" baby. When Pk was so difficult, never sleeping, refusing a bottle, not napping, etc., it used to drive me crazy. Saying she was a "bad" baby implied that she was somehow inferior to other babies in my mind. It wasn't her fault that her brain just wasn't wired the way other babies are (and, according to a number of statistics I have read, gifted children are often very difficult babies, not that I am saying she is gifted). Babies have reflux, the world is a large and scary place after the comfort of the womb and teething pain is awful. It bothers me that in a way, the implication is made that being a difficult baby is a reflection on character.

Enough grouching. Enjoy your children, whatever the gender!