Thursday, April 14, 2011


I apologize now. I had planned on doing this wonderful project of a post a day until the end of my leave to capture these special days but really, I just ran out of steam. My mood is so up-and-down. Monday, the day before Baby Bean started daycare, I was in a terrible funk and then Tuesday, when he actually went and seemed to be o.k. (and I treated myself to getting my hair done and pedicure - gotta love that massage chair), I felt better. I felt so very strange to be in the house alone. It came to me that I hadn't done that since before Baby Bean was born. I got so much work done in prep for going back, that really helped. My primary anxiety is being away from Baby Bean and pumping (I will comment on that in a minute) but I am also scared about going back to work. On one hand, it's kind of nice since I am a teacher and will only be there 10 weeks before I am on holiday with my kids for two months but on the other, it's terrifying. I am a BIG planner and I like to be very organized and going into someone else's programme, it's pretty disconcerting. I think after a few weeks I will be o.k. but the initial transition will be hard. I am trying to view it as a chance to set up for next September, too. For various reasons, I have had to move classrooms every year for the last 7 years which meant that set-up in August was a long process. I am hoping that this year, if I can be organize, I can leave in June knowing that things are largely ready for September.

The pumping thing is really stressing me out and I know it's totally in my head. Baby Bean will be 10 months old this weekend. It's feeding him during the day that worries me. The easy answer would be to send formula for him at daycare. Please don't hear this as judgement of anyone else but for some reason, I REALLY don't want him to get formula. I can't explain it but it scares me. I don't know whether it's all the additives or strange ingredients or the possibility of contamination or the BPA in the cans but I just can't go there. There is some debate as to the best course of action. Technically, I could probably start him on cow's milk now and my family doctor was o.k. with that. On the other hand, someone close to me who is very knowledgeable (as in doctoral degree in medicine) told me that there is some evidence that early introduction to cow's milk can lead to a child who is already predisposed developing Type-1 diabetes. There's no reason to suspect that Baby Bean is predisposed but it scares me. This person agrees with me that goat's milk is probably fine but even so, it seems a bit early to me. The only other option is pumping, which is what I am hoping to do. So far so good, I have pumped enough for daycare this week that I don't even have to use the stuff in the freezer but I am worried that my supply won't last. I also haven't tried pumping at work yet and that may be another thing - I find that I pump much better when I am not stressed. Cross your fingers for me. I know that formula isn't going to kill him and I did buy a can to send to his daycare provider, just in case (which nearly killed me!)

So anyway, I have all these photos that I have saved from the last few days and I thought I would share a few. Yes, my children are probably the most photographed in the world but hey, at least they know they are special to me!

I have started a tradition in the last couple of years of buying Pk an Easter dress. She is a girlie-girl being raised by a girlie-girl in disguise so I can't resist. I won't spend a fortune so I spend early spring looking for something appropriate second-hand. I scored last week and got one for this year and one for next and it only cost me $18.00! Pk greatly approved of both (sigh of relief).

We have really been enjoying this session of Music for Young Children. Our instructor is amazing and Pk loves it. I am so impressed by the musical literacy she is developing in this programme. At three, she recognizes several note patterns, can identify the note durations using the language of the programme and frequently talks about sounds being forte or piano. Next year, she will begin some basic keyboarding as part of the course and I am thrilled.

Last week, a dear friend had her birthday and we dropped off a little treat. One component were these cookies which have become the most popular I make!!! Pk was allowed to lick the bowl which was a big deal!
I hesitate to post a bath photo but I think this one covers enough. They are so cute in the tub together and they have so much fun. I feel guilty, though - I told a friend the other day that my two go in together and she tried it and her youngest pooped in the tub so both kids needs to be cleaned again and the tub toys and tub sterilized. Baby Bean is very cooperative about not doing that (which should guarantee now that he will!)
Last week, we went to have a playdate with someone we really like and have been meaning to get together with for ages. The girls had a wonderful time having a "tea" party (it was Pk's first experience with chocolate milk and I would definitely say that she's a fan).
Uncle J brought Baby Bean into the family tradition of having his own couch (Uncle J says that it will guarantee that he will have a place to sleep when he moves in the with kids when they are adults and he is old!) Baby Bean loved it.
On Saturday morning, when Pk got up to watch CBC kids, she insisted that Baby Bean needed his couch and blanket, too. It's those little moments that make my heart melt.
Pk had her first highland dance exam last weekend. I felt a bit funny about it. She didn't seemed bothered about it one way or the other and her teacher encouraged us to have her do it to get used to the process. I had horrible performance anxiety in university and grew to dread a lot about music because of it. I am hoping that Pk will get so used to these kinds of things that it won't bother her. I felt funny, though, because she is so young and had she failed, I don't know how I would have explained it to her. I emailed her teacher the day before class to be certain that she had passed - if she hadn't, I was going to keep her home from class and she would just never know that she failed (I didn't want her to be upset if the other kids passed and she didn't). Then, I worried that I was turning into one of those 21st century parents who don't ever let their kids experience real life... the good news is that she passed so we could ignore those questions for now.

I am trying to capture the special moments since I am so aware of time passing quickly. I could look at Baby Bean sleeping all day - there is something so comfortable and cozy about it.
Easter crafts at the library was fun. I am such a little girl when it comes to things like this - I love holidays and I love crafts so this was the perfect combination.
Last Saturday night, we went to visit friends for dinner. It was a strangely warm day and we ended up outside for most of the visit (not normal for Ontario at this time of year). Baby Bean got to sit in a "big boy" chair in the driveway and it appeared that he was very proud to be sitting along with the big kids.
Scrambled eggs have become a bit hit although I don't love washing them out of his hair.
We had to go to the mall to buy some bottles for Baby Bean to take to daycare and Pk has never met a ride she didn't like so we had to make a stop.
The weather has been nice and we have been doing lots of walks with the dogs with Baby Bean in the Ergo carrier. It has definitely been one of my all-time favourite baby purchases.
On Tuesday morning, Daddy took the kids to daycare for the first time (first time for Baby Bean, that is). It ran smoothly and I didn't cry for all that long after they left.
This is such essential P.k. She was in her room yesterday morning while I was in the shower. I went to check on her and she was "having a sleep with my bunny." Of course, that had to be done wearing a tiara.
This was a lovely moment. She went into my desk and pulled out a notecard and informed me that she was writing a card for Momis (what she calls my dad). She was so very serious about it and proud when she was done.
Yesterday morning, we worked on our next "Slow and Steady" task - sorting cutlery. She did a great job but I had visions of my mother having a stroke that I included the knives in the sorting. She was careful and we were able to discuss safe use and storage of knives.
Finally, yesterday morning I did some gardening. I have a goal to do one thing each day to make our home for comfortable, whether it's our physical home or the emotional tone. Yesterday, I decided that I wanted to get rid of the old stuff from last summer so that we could actually see the lovely crocuses coming up hidden in the corner. I stuck Baby Bean on a blanket with toys near me and Pk rode her tricycle. We had a really nice time and I came away with a real sense of accomplishment.

So that's my boring last few days. I am planning on trying to start an Endo book as per Laura as "Nestled Under Rainbows." A few of these pics will definitely be included. I am going to try to keep the blog up but I suspect, with work demands, I won't be able to be around here as much :-(

1 comment:

  1. I love the gingham dress!

    Also, my experience is that if you pump regularly, supply should be okay. You could also mix goat milk and human, if you find it a little low, as a supplementing sort of arrangement. I blended mine with cow when I was transitioning mine onto cow, and it worked well.

    and more than anything - I know you will be fine at work. It will be hard for you to feel like you can coast and be okay, because you are very demanding of yourself, but believe me, by this point, with years of experience behind you, you can afford to rest on your previous experience and knowledge a little. And then - it will be summer before you know it!