Fast forward many years. When Pk arrived, many wonderful people gave us clothing, pink, pink and more pink, lovely dresses and silly dresses and outfits that were ridiculous for an infant. I still didn't really get it. When my m.i.l. had a baby shower for me after Pk was born, she got really angry at me because when she asked what I wanted as shower gifts, I asked for sleepers and really casual stuff - at the time, I had found these great little hooded sweatshirt sets at Zellers that were cozy and warm. She informed me that, no, I didn't need those things, I needed dresses and we got a vast supply of them at the shower. Luckily, two very dear friends, gave me more practical stuff that I could ever need (which also happened to include a few cute dresses!).
Then, my life changed. I discovered Gymboree. The first time I ventured in, I was terrified (it does seem to be a place that brings out, um.. the aggressive side of mothers, especially when there is a big sale). I quickly got over that fear when I found that I LOVE much of their clothing. I need to say, I like very traditional stuff, clothing in simple colours and clothing that does NOT make my child look like a miniature teenager. I am a fan of modesty and comfort but, in my mind, there is no reason that such a look can't also be pretty at the same time. During Pk's first year-and-a-half or so, I spent WAY too much at Gymboree (and Gymbucks really help me to create the illusion for myself that I am getting a deal, even when I am paying $44 for a church dress that will probably get worn maybe ten times). It helped that Pk is the first grandchild and my mother loves buying for her so if we went to Gymboree together, I knew we would be spoiled. All that being said, though, I was being ridiculous and deep down, I knew it.
Over the last 8 months or so, I have really being trying to get hold of my finances and to explore much greater frugality. I have been more conscious of not spending more than I have and only buying when I have enough to pay cash. That is just about enough to put Gymboree out of the picture. No more $250 sprees. No more, "Oh, well, I will pay for this later somehow". I have been studying how to get the same kind of wonderful clothing without putting us in the poorhouse. I have discovered Once Upon a Child (o.k. but don't love it), Valuevillage, Goodwill (not the most wonderful shopping experience but going on their sale days, I have done incredibly well) and now, the Today's Parent Virtual Garage Sale (wonderful "gently used" pieces available for a small fraction of the cost but in the styles I so love). It is becoming quite a lot of fun and it makes me feel a bit like that Proverbs 31 woman, providing for my family in frugal ways that stretch our resources in ways that people never need know that things are new and expensive. I get so much more satisfaction these days and, who can complain about an impulse buy like mine yesterday at the Goodwill sale - $8.67 for 9 articles of clothing, including two pretty summer dresses? I can indulge the love of dress up with feeling guilty or vain.
Here's my dilemma, though and I hope you mothers out there can give me your take. At what point do I stop being able to choose the clothing? So far, Pk is fairly easy about things. Yes, she needs choice but it is generally of the "This outfit or this one for today?" variety. There is only one thing so far that she refuses to wear - a set of Disney Princess flannel p.j.s that were given to us (Kittenpie, you KNOW how much pleasure it gave me to see her refuse the princesses!). Something tells me that when it is up to her, my clothing options are going to be significantly limited. With your daughters, when did they start needing to choose everything? Are you still able to buy the items and then have them choose? I will be very sad when that day comes - I guess I like dressing up dolls after all.
And the next dilemma is, what on earth do I do to dress a boy???
I still buy for Pumpkinpie, and there are always one or two things she won't wear, but mostly, she likes a bit of everything, and I try to buy a few things that I know she will love. Even when she does get the rare opportunity to choose something for herself, it's no guarantee she will want to wear it 6 months later, as she is notoriously fickle, so I just try to keep a good number of practical and a good few pretty choices around for her to pick from. I always buy ahead, too, to take advantage of end-of-season sales, so I have to accept that her favourite colour may change, etc.
ReplyDeleteAs for a boy - you can have The Bun's things, for a start! I find with him, I like lots of pants and long-sleeve Ts and a couple of button-up shirts. I tend to enjoy the coats styled like classic little man coats, and have bought one or two cute sweaters, but whether he will wear them remains to be seen. I like some colour, but I have found that it is more available than I feared. My biggest problem has been the explosive growth!
Sydney is 5 and could care less what she wears (unless it's a dress...she would rather NEVER wear dresses).
ReplyDeleteKayleigh is 3 and is very opinionated. She wants a dress and tights every day!
I feel like as the mother, I have final say over what I buy for them to wear. If I don't like it, or feel it's not appropriate, I won't buy it or hang it in their closet (If it's a hand-me-down). Thankfully my oldest isn't too opinionated and I can buy what I like (we do have lots of boy/dinosaur stuff since Syd loves dinos). And Kayleigh ge's Syd's hand-me-downs.
But to make sure they will wear what I buy, I ask Syd for her opinion if I find a good sale. Kay is always commenting on the "beautiful princess stuff" she sees, but we just don't have it at home. She seems ok with that.
Don't know if that answers your question or not, but that's what we've done so far. I think keeping it simple is key!
I love Gymboree too! We have an outlet about 2 miles from us and when there are sales, I can get really good deals! I also use their visa and earn $10 gift cards from them.
Thanks, ladies! I feel reassured now. I ended up at a Once Upon a Child sale yesterday with a good friend in another town and found something LOVELY things. It feels better to know that you still do the buying - I was just a bit concerned that I would be buying things that would be wasted (my s.i.l. was always emphatic that we had to get the exact clothing she told us to get for my nieces because they wouldn't wear anything else and the youngest was 4 at the time and the oldest was 7).
ReplyDeleteJill, I agree, as the parent, I certainly have the final say and I won't be arguing about what WON'T be coming into this house - the idea of little girls in thongs and crop tops makes my skin crawl. On the other hand, I imagine the day will come when it won't be me doing the choosing, just the regulating!
There are still a few things that go wasted, which annoys me, but it's a small percent, and worth it to not have to drag her around shopping, have her pick, and STILL have her decide not to wear stuff!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, my tastes are definitely towards the conservative, classic clothing for kids. Easy, comfy everyday clothes that are easy to move in, and some pretty dresses for summer and dressup events. Even dresses that are too strappy make me a bit squirmy - a strappy sundress, okay, but even that, well, we are a pretty pale people around here.
Swimsuits are a big sticking point there with me, as you know. It's 1-piece or else a T and substantial bottom. Skirts are either skorts or else worn with bloomies or bicycle shorts. Undies are fruit-of-the-loom, and bellies are to be covered.
Shoes, for both practical and age-appropriate reasons, are flats, sneakers, or mary janes. For The Bun, they are leaning towards sneakers or slippers.
I have strong feelings on this one (I have no idea why, though). I feel that at whatever age a child has a preference on their clothes or hair, their choice should be granted. I feel that children have so much that is out of their control. How they dress or wear there hair will not affect them negatively, and yet it gives them control over something! I have taken my children running errands in costumes. I do have a few rules. One is that it cannot break any school rules, and the other is that it cannot bother other people. Things like being revealing would be bothering other people. A plaid with a stripe might bother someone else, but that doesn't count! ;) I do buy all their clothes because it is my money. So they pick from what I've bought in the first place. However, I will let them buy their own clothes with their own money (again following the 2 rules that I have).
ReplyDeleteRebecca of the R&W Gals