What does being frugal mean to you? I have to admit, I didn't grow up learning how to be frugal (neither did Dh). We didn't grow up with money, just with families who didn't manage money well (although, interestingly, the weaknesses in each family were very different). Too much use of credit, buying things that really weren't needed, etc... was what we learned. I think, for the most part, we managed reasonably well, managing to pay off our student loans (which were sizable), pay for our own wedding (which wasn't over-the-top elaborate but we did have a large church wedding with a meal afterwards and we didn't feel like we were skimping on anything that we wanted) and to save us enough for a decent, if not amazing downpayment on a house. We were D.I.N.K.S. for a long time, though (for anyone who doesn't know, double-income-no-kids) and probably didn't manage money very well.
We aren't extravagant people. Our t.v. is NOT a big screen and Dh is not a huge fan of electronics (he likes his toys but other than a weakness for Chelsea F.C. and England football jerseys, he is very good at controlling himself), we don't take expensive vacations (we have done the odd weekend away in the past but nothing too fancy), our house is modest and our vehicles are fairly basic (a Corolla and a Grand Caravan). We do eat out but we tend to stick with "ethnic" food with tends to be a lot cheaper. Our thinking is that if we are going to buy food, why buy something we can make ourselves? Our favourite these days is a Tamil restaurant near Dh's work, from which he can get us a huge meal of curries, basmati rice and naan (if you haven't had it, the yummiest flat bread in the world) for about $19 dollars.
On the other hand, though, I can't believe how quickly the money seems to go and it just never seems to stretch quite far enough. We had a fairly good income and yet, we never seem to feel secure. I have been listening to Dave Ramsey podcasts lately and really feeling the pull to get our finances in order but there is just this little bit of me that resists. I don't WANT to do a budget. I don't want to live on rice and beans. I must have had some bad experiences with "frugality" in the past because there is a side of me that somehow views it as leading to deprivation of some kind or another.
I am determined that I am going to teach my children a different way. I don't want them to grow up as slaves to debt or feeling like their choices are limited because they don't have the money to pursue their dreams. I also don't want to get into a situation where they think that they MUST spend a huge amount of money for basics just to somehow prove their own worth. My father told me a story last week that I still can't get out of my head. He knows a woman who told him this story. She has a granddaughter who is 16. She was visiting her son and daughter-in-law and the granddaughter asked for money to get her hair done. A huge family fight blew up because the son had "only" given the girl $150 for the hair and she "needed" $250. The d.i.l. accused him of being cheap on handed over an additional $100 because her daughter "needed" it to get a "decent" job done of her hair. The grandmother was horrified. So was my father and, in turn, so was I. I have NEVER spent that on my hair (now, I don't colour or perm so I don't have to spend a huge amount but still...) Call me cheap and call me mean but I do NOT want my daughter growing up with those kinds of expectations. I want money to be a tool, not a master.
So, where to start? I know that one thing we need to do is get on board with the envelope system. Doing a budget is essential and I am starting down that track but it is early days. In the meantime, I want to begin to see where I can cut back without it feeling like a hardship. I must admit, I am starting to find it kind of fun. There is a great deal of satisfaction in getting a great deal on something that I was going to buy anyway. This week, for instance, we managed to get our diapers for less than half price. Yes, I know that cloth is better and we did cloth for a long time but we just hit a point when they just didn't work for us anymore. I am going to use cloth with the baby and we have even found a GREAT source for cloth diapers that are less than half the cost of what we were going to pay (hooray!!!). I am trying to follow grocery flyers and stock up. I have to admit, during the Ultimate Blog Party, I found some great money saving blogs... it's amazing how much you can save using coupons. Unfortunately, I have found some good deals with U.S. coupons but there doesn't seem to be the same kind of savings here in Canada.
My biggest fun, saving money these days, though, is children's clothing. We have been really lucky with friends giving/lending us stuff but at the same time, it's nice to buy some things for ourselves. Pk's first year, I have to admit, I was silly. I bought Gymboree at full price and tried to convince myself that since I was getting Gymbucks, it was a deal. Since then, I have learned a lot. I have begun to comb the sale at Goodwill (there is so much satisfaction in getting top brand clothing and getting a large bag for $10). A friend introduced me to the "Virtual Garage Sale" at Today's Parent Canada and I have gotten some lovely things from there. And yesterday, I went to a 25% off sale at our local used children's clothing store. I bought some wonderful things. I had such a sense of accomplishment. I got quite a few things (see the pics below) and not only was the whole thing $85, I ended up getting it all for $63. I especially loved the two Gap dresses that I got for Pk. The red velvet one will be perfect for next Christmas.
So, I guess I am up to the challenge after all. We used to joke that my m.i.l. would spend $10 000 to save $5 000. I hope to avoid that pitfall but I really do want to learn how to manage our resources well and teach my family how to enjoy the things they really need without becoming slaves to debt. I'd love any pointers that you have!
Off to check out a few things on Craigslist!
For me the biggest thing is to be content with less........really, really, really being mindful of what I buy. (I said that 3 times because I need to!) I often buy things I want instead of need.
ReplyDeleteI followed money saving blogs for over a year and never was able to accomplish the sales and deals that they got. I also, often found myself buying stuff we don't use just because it was a good deal. And in reading them, it was constantly on my mind to go out and buy. So I've stopped...and when we need something, I buy it and I hope God blesses me with a sale!
I also find it hard that all the deals seem to be on the southern side of the border. I really wish there were better ways to save up here in Canada as well. Although, I do love garage sales! Just finding the right ones to go to... especially in our area. A lot of people here want to MAKE money on their garage sales and sell the stuff at close to the sale price for the item if you'd buy new. Not the best deals there. The places that want to get rid of stuff... that's where you wanna be! :)
ReplyDeleteGOod luck on your journey! I do love a good budget! :)
I struggle with this a lot, too - we don't live extravagantly, though we have had our moments in the past when Misterpie was getting large per diems on top of a large salary, and we'd go out for pricey dates on Friday night when he came back from his traveling. It was fun, but unmanageable with kids, so now we hardly eat out at all.
ReplyDeleteI am big on not buying full price, though. Rare is the item I will pay full price for at most places, and it has to be solid basics, something classic and something I love. (I will buy full price at H&M or Old navy, where prices are good to start with.) For everything else, I shop sales racks or Winners.
I've also loved thrifting, though our really great local thrift store closed, so there isn't anything really nearby. Craigslist has been a grat boon, too, though I wish I had known about it before I had Pumpkinpie! I did buy her crib and large stroller used at Once Upon a child, as well. But for you - also let me know if there is baby gear you don't have, because I still have stuff, too, that you can have!
I would also say, though - I am finding that for some things, if i have one really, really good thing that I will use every time, it beats having several. In most things, I like having variety, because I get bored, but for some things, I'm starting to like finding the one perfect one. I spent a lot on a good winter coat the year I had Pumpkinpie, for example, and have found I really have gotten all that money's worth by wearing it constantly and not needing to replace it yet, 6 years later.