This task was easy for me. A few years ago, on t.v., I saw a profile of a mother who was dying of cancer and who composed a video diary for her daughter, telling her all the things that she wanted her to know but wouldn't be able to share with her at the time. I have never forgotten that and one of my biggest fears would be to die before my children reach adulthood and to leave them without having told them things that I truly want them to know. Out of that fear, my letter binders were born.
Each binder contains letters that I write to my children. There isn't a set schedule and I don't do it all that often but my hope would be that if anything were to happen to me and I wasn't here to tell them and reaffirm all the time that I love them unconditionally, they would be able to read the letters from me, sharing my love for them, my pride in them and my total enjoyment of them. I read somewhere that children who experience truly unconditional love from their parents have a much easier time believing in a loving God and I hope that I can give my children a small glimpse of the love of God in my love for each of them. The only problem with the letters that I write is that I often find myself in tears as I write them.
This year, I wrote a letter to each child, a catalogue of things I love and I have put the letter into each binder. Pk does not know that she has a binder and while I did share this letter with her, I want the binder to be a secret. I hope to be able to give it to her either on her 18th birthday or when I drop her off at university. I plan to make the annual "love letter" a part of each binder and I hope that each child is truly able to appreciate just how much I love him or her!