Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Love Languages

I bought "Mom...and Loving It: Finding Contentment in Real Life" by the Autry sisters ages ago and started it, liked it but somehow lost track of it. I got it out the other day and have been reading it. This morning's reading totally spoke to me.

The chapter was on accepting out children as they are. I love my children but I have to admit, at times, Pk can get on my last nerve (as do all children, I know). There are days when I feel like I am trying so hard to reach for her but somehow, I keep missing and we end the day with me feeling frustrated and guilty and feeling like I have let her down somehow. She, on the other hand, seems frustrated and annoyed at the end of those days.

The insight in the chapter this morning hit me between the eyes and really, after the horrible night we had with Baby Bean (who has a virus with a fever that has left him beyond grouchy), for me to notice anything is amazing. The authors were discussing love languages and how that translates to parenting. I read Gary Smalley's book for couples and LOVED it and got some good insights into our marriage. I never thought to translate that to parenting.

I realised today that Pk's love language is quality time (she is constantly asking me to play a game, to read a book or to take her out on the deck and the busier I am, the more she asks and the more annoying I find it). I don't know how I didn't see that before. No wonder she has found my going back to work so much harder than Baby Bean... she wants my time and it's the one thing I don't have these days. As soon as it came to me, all the pieces came together. While I can't fix it all instantly, at least I can understand a. what she is needing and b. why her behaviour gets so difficult at my busiest and most stressful times.
This is a book that I must read and finding that quality time for Pk is a must this summer so that it is just routine by the time I go back to work.

I love it when I get clear sight out of the blue like that.

1 comment:

  1. This sounds so familiar - Ppie is being a pain in the butt, but I know it's about attention right now, because this month is NUTS. I decided that since her teacher seems to have decided that the year is over and they aren't doing anything anyway, she and I are taking the day Tuesday and I will pick her up at lunch, and we are going to the AGO. She loves art, I know she'd love it, and she really needs to finally be my focus for a chunk of time.