We have been in a strange situation with m.i.l. for a while because for some reason, she is complete aloof from this pregnancy. When I was expecting Pk, she was all over me all the time and her obsession was that we were having a boy (despite the fact that everything medical was to the contrary). It was cloying and claustrophobic. S.i.l., on the other hand, was obsessed with the fact that she felt that I was making the biggest mistake of my life because I was emphatic about the fact that I didn't want to have family at the hospital as I was delivering - she was certain that I just didn't know what I wanted because I had never delivered a baby before and this would be the greatest regret of my life (was she ever wrong on that score - I can't imagine wanting anyone there with me during that experience other than dh). Anyway, this time round, my m.i.l. has expressed zero interest in the baby (other than a mild desire to take credit for the fact that he will be big - apparently, in her world, baby size is entirely determined by the size of your m.i.l.'s babies and that is a credit to her). My mother said at Christmas, she found it almost eerie - there was no mention of the pregnancy AT ALL. I don't know what the deal is, other than that dh and I have confronted the family about a few things over the last couple of years and maybe she is just angry.
Anyway, back to the current situation. We haven't really known whether we should call and let them know when the arrival was imminent or just leave it and let them know once baby arrives (but you can rest assured, whatever we do will be wrong). Yesterday morning, m.i.l. called. She first told dh to wish me happy birthday because she knew it was around this time (hey, we have only been together since 1991...) but she also needed us to know that if the baby arrives next weekend, she is busy and wouldn't be available. You see, she lives 2 and a half hours from us and next weekend, is coming down to visit s.i.l. for my nieces' dance recital on Friday night, Saturday afternoon and Saturday night. Let me add, s.i.l. lives less than 20 minutes from us. Does anyone else find it a teeny bit strange that she would be within that distance but needed us to know that there would be NO TIME AT ALL to stop by and meet her only grandson? Dh is right, it's probably better this way because she would come and all we would hear about was the recital and how it was the best one in the history of the world and that my nieces were so much more talented than any other child there but still, isn't is a bit weird that she wouldn't be even the least bit curious to meet her son's son? It's hard not to take that as a slap in the face.
As you all told me a bit ago, we are lucky to have such wonderful friends and really, this is about us as an immediate family, not about the larger extended group. I still find it weird, though and it's hard not to be hurt on dh's behalf.