Dh and I woke up very nervous this morning. We had to go to the bank to renew our mortgage and to truly understand the reaction we have to something like that, you have to understand a bit about our childhoods. We both had wonderful, loving, kind parents but we also had parents who were a walking disaster financially for various reasons. We both grew up with a sense that we were one event away from being on the street and complete ruination. We both had experiences as children of the family basically losing everything and since then, we have both developed a real fear of dealing with money. The day began for us with a feeling of dread.
I have to say, we are so much better at dealing with it than we used to be. We had a long talk and reviewed all the ways that God has been faithful to us. Sure, we aren't rich and we don't have a lot compared to a lot of people but we have always had jobs, have always been able to pay the bills and while there aren't expensive vacations or designer clothes, we always have what we need. We arrived at the bank and, oddly enough, a song popped into my head. I hesitate to talk about it because I don't want to sound silly but I found myself singing, over and over again, "Praise God, from whom all blessings flow." I haven't sung that in years and don't know where it came from.
I won't get in to the specifics but it was a surreal experience. Here we are, terrified that finances are somehow worse than we thought and that we will never have the mortgage paid off. It turns out, it's finished in 11 years and we are much more secure than we believed. It's hard to imagine that walking out of a bank knowing how much we owe could feel like we had won the lottery but that's exactly how it felt. Yet again, we had been taken care of.
To celebrate, we took the kids to McD's. We often go (probably shouldn't admit that) but usually, we are very deliberate about not going to one with a "Playplace." Not this time! We wanted everyone to have as much fun as we were having and Pk was definitely in heaven. She met some nice kids (she makes friends everywhere!) and while LB was terrified at first, once he discovered there were balls there, he was happy.