I have to start this by saying that this was not a good day. Dh couldn't get himself out of bed so I went to church alone and when I got back at 12:30, he was still asleep and didn't wake until 1:30. Living with someone with depression is not a nice thing. It is really lonely when there are two adults living in the house but only one is emotionally present. Pk didn't sleep last night and I was feeling discouraged, tired and very, very lonely. It was really hard at church because people are so nice. They kept asking where Dh was and how I was doing...I didn't feel up to getting into it with most people so I felt like a liar. A good friend of mine, the one I said we needed to pray for because she has just left an emotionally abusive marriage, said something that I can really relate to right now. She didn't come to church for almost five years. We all wondered why but I didn't know her well enough at the time to make contact and ask. She told me recently that she frequently tried to come. She went as far as to get in her car and drive to the church but she would get to the parking lot and just couldn't make herself come in. She couldn't face people being nice to her because she knew that as soon as someone was nice, she would dissolve into tears and not be able to stop. That was a bit how I was feeling today but 1. Pk adores church more than anything and 2. we drive an elderly man to church who lives in the nursing home here in town and I know that church is his only chance to get out during the week. I couldn't take that away. Suffice to say that by the time I got home from church, I was not in a good place.
One of our concerns right now is money. My being on mat leave last year really hurt us and we have some debt that we are finding it hard to get out from underneath. I want to deal with that but dh totally shuts down whenever I try to talk to him about finances or working together on a budget to get things in order. I had been thinking of trying to get Pk a "big girl" bed - she is in a toddler bed/daybed thing right now with the uncomfortable crib mattress and I don't blame her for preferring to be in with us. I had been talking about going shopping and seeing what a bed would cost us. Today, I decided that it would just have to wait. When dh and I were driving to get groceries this afternoon, I mentioned to dh that I thought we should wait - that God has a funny way of dropping things in our laps when we most need them.
Fast forward two hours. We had finished at the grocery store in the big town near us and had come back to our little local store to get a few things we couldn't get in the big town. We ran into R (yes, the food neighbour) and after about three sentences, she said, "Hey. Do you guys need a twin bed? We are getting ready to do our basement and we have a twin bed, dresser and bedside table that we don't have room for anymore and we were thinking that you might need them." Dh and I just stood there and gaped at her. Nobody has offered us a bed in all the years we have been together and today, of all days, that offer comes! We went to see the set - it's pretty basic but with some white paint and a pretty quilt, it will be perfect for a little girl's room.
I need to learn to trust more. It's so amazing how our needs are met.
I often find that with curb finds, that just the right thing will appear. I refer to it as "garma," as it sometimes seems to happen just after we put something out to the curb for someone else to take, that we find the perfect "garbage find." I'm a big scavenger, so lots of our things have come this way! Glad you are finding those small blessings, even on "those" days.
ReplyDelete(And if you are looking for furniture, I also like craigslist - we got Pumpkinpie's bed that way for pretty cheap, and an inexpensive ikea matress to go on it.)
Sometimes I think God waits for us to "let go" and then he will bless us with what He has waiting for us.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great blessing!
I was going to suggest freecycle, but how perfect is that?! I bet you could stencil some flowers or add wall stickers to it, and girly it up.
ReplyDeleteAlso - do you want a small girls bike? It needs pedals, which you can get at Can Tire for a few bucks and just screw on, and it's nothing special, but if you want it, we can pass it on to you instead of the curb!
ReplyDeleteI haven't tried freecycle - any advice?
ReplyDeleteYes, kittenpie, the bike sounds great. Dh will have fun tinkering with it.