December Daily 17

This will be short because I am exhausted. Today was a long day. After I got Pk up and off to daycare, Baby Bean and I went on to the hospital to get Dh. Dh was not feeling well, he was sore, he was grouchy and he wanted to come home. I was really nervous, initially, because he seemed to have a lot of trouble moving. As he got up and going, it got a bit better. I handled it all really well until the nurse told me that because of the hernia repair, he is unable to pick anything up for six weeks. No snow, no garbage, NO BABY. I hope I don't sound hopelessly selfish but at that point, I could have cried. I do most of the child care around here but there are times when I do need a bit of help. Given that we have had a huge dump of snow and it wasn't shoveled and I had to do the garbage this morning in the frigid temps, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. I must have been in bad shape because, when I went out to the parking lot to get the car, I couldn't remember where I had parked and I stood and cried for a good three minutes. Since then, I have coped fairly well but I have moments when it all hits me and I long for a good cry but there just isn't time. Mom is being wonderful and her presence really helps but she needs to go home Friday. I hope by then, I will have gotten into a routine and it will all seem a bit easier.

On the Christmas front, I can't believe it but I did get two things done today.

1. Pk and I went and bought candy for decorating the gingerbread house.

2. I made another batch of shortbread for the cookie exchange at church on Sunday.

My biggest sadness right now it that I don't know how much we will be able to do this Christmas. We have a gorgeous tree in the garage and I don't know how I will get it in and set up on my own. I will find a way, I hope. We were set to host Boxing Day this year with both my family and Dh's family and we always do a rotisserie standing rib roast on the barbecue. Dh has insisted that we can still do it but I know what will happen - the "we" will become me and I just don't have it in me. I have said that everyone can come but they won't get roast beef. I am thinking of getting a whole bunch of peel and eat shrimp, shrimp appetizers, smoked salmon, nice cheese, bread and a veggie tray and people can manage with that (or cook for themselves). I love Christmas and am sad it will have to be scaled back this year but at least I still have Dh. I tried not to think about it but when they were so late bringing him back to his room after the surgery, I had a few very anxious minutes.